Do you know what they call a hippopotamus with one leg?
A hoppo.
I don't know what I did or what these gang members *think* I did, but I have to watch my back! I was jumped by a gang of mimes and held hostage. They did unspeakable things to me.
I was also jumped by a gang of dwarves! Not happy.
I got into a fight with a guitar player, too. He said he was going to wrap the neck of his guitar around my neck! "Is that a fret?!?"
If I entered a chili competition, I'd cumin first! If I didn't, I still could've bean a contender.
Do you know what coffee shops and golf courses have in common? They both employ groundskeepers.