Multiple Sclerosis takes away many things, usually without permission. Many of these are important, if not necessary, to daily life and progress (balance, cognition, strength, etc.). Some of these things aren’t as obvious at first, but subtly prove to be essential for a comfortable existence.
Someone with MS may have had good handwriting - good flourishing, creative, bold and beautiful handwriting. It may not have been judged or appreciated and maybe not even have been noticed by anyone else, but they took pleasure in it. As symptoms progressed, detailed manual dexterity may have become increasingly difficult and erratic. Maybe they could not control their hands (and other appendages) with the needed agility and acumen. I personally battled this obstacle, but I could still write in cursive. For the most part, cursive is not taught anymore and few could read it whether it was penned skillfully or not. It was easily dismissed and overlooked, but I took pride in it.
Of course weakness was and is a major issue to overcome, but tremors in limbs and extremeties can be equally troublesome. Brushing teeth does not or should not require great strength, but it certainly requires fine or detailed manual dexterity. Many of the actions of daily life are banal and completed with the unconscious ease of muscle memory. Often, those who live with MS have to give great attention and focus to these same activities. The brushing of teeth is one such example. The vast majority of those who brush their teeth daily don’t have to concentrate on the task at hand. However, someone battling multiple sclerosis may worry about a tremor causing them to violently and unpredictably force their brush into the back of their throat or gums. Personally, the disease has guided the toothbrush I was holding to escape the confines of my mouth and slash across my cheek and even into my eye. It didn’t require emergency medical attention, but I’m at a loss as to how it could be explained to someone unfamiliar with the disease.
Aside from physical injury, such instances hurt in a different way. Those moving through life with MS often feel compelled to wonder why they can’t manage tasks that long ago became instinctual. Brushing one’s teeth or writing a letter doesn’t seem like a noteworthy achievement to most, but doing these things successfully may be monumental to someone living with MS. Putting on pajamas while standing and balancing without a wall or railing is commonplace and unremarkable to the ablebodied, but warrants a medal or plaque to someone living with MS. Too often they can see only that it was a challenge, not that they successfully did it. A standing shower presents numerous hazards because it combines excessive heat, the possibility of slipping or legs giving out, and the sheer exhaustion of being hyper focused on every movement, yet it is viewed by most as a relaxing respite from daily life. To better understand life with multiple sclerosis, it must be understood that those moments of peace are fewer and farther between for those with MS.
It is important to acknowledge that your life has changed. You cannot do things most people can because you are no longer most people. You are not weird or inferior, you are special and strong in ways you had no previous reason to consider. You may not have chosen to, but you have adapted and advanced. ACCEPT.
#multiplesclerosis #acceptance