Um, thank you?
Medical professionals don’t generally conduct examinations or formal assessments of patients by giving them a once-over and a nod. A trained individual may be able to glean things by sight, but further investigation, even brief, is needed. You have no doubt had doctor’s appointments in the past, and I’m confident all of those appointments mandated the laying of hands on your body or possibly the laying of hands on equipment that came in contact with your body.
Some of us patients go to great lengths to “look fine” even when we aren’t. Our outward appearance may seem refined and well put together and maybe it is, but it requires effort. Having clean, wrinkle-free clothes projects an overall wellness, but even something as banal as ironing may require the detailed manual dexterity escaping an MS patient. As discussed, so may be the task of buttoning or tying.
According to a former therapist, looking better equals feeling better. I’m certain that some people, maybe most, are just trying to give a compliment about appearance. They may not be aware of the Doctor’s theory, but we are taught as children to inherently subscribe to it. We’re inclined to believe it.
The same connection is true on the other end of the spectrum. Looking disheveled and untucked seems to mean the person must not be healthy or financially stable because if they were, they would take better care of themselves. Thought is not always given to that person’s overall health. Maybe ironing for them is difficult because of dexterity or lassitude. Maybe fastening buttons is exhausting. Maybe their jeans look tattered and stained because they fell. That doesn’t mean they are sloppy or lazy, but ask before you render judgement. This is a prime opportunity to help someone who needs it, but may not ask.
MS, and certainly other diseases, can make the patient feel helpless and needy. Asking for help often becomes demoralizing, especially when the frequency increases. Supporters can eliminate this feeling by simply offering before being asked. As a patient, keep in mind that those offering aren’t doing so because they think you are weak or a charity case, they are offering because they care about you on whatever level and they can. Swallow your pride and accept help. Think of it as doing them a favor.
#multiplesclerosis #aesthetics