A therapist (mental, not physical) told me “if you look good, you feel good”. For those battling multiple sclerosis, any opportunity to feel better is a welcome opportunity. However, maintaining preferred aesthetics, like many aspects of daily life, is not always easy.
Personally, I like wearing ties (straight, bow, ascot, etc.) with button-down shirts. Buttons and ties tied in various knots can be challenging. Before the effects of the disease wore on, I boasted that I could tie a half Windsor knot behind my back, a skill that comes in handy never. I developed it when I had a job that required me to wear an apron. I had/have many straight ties, and had the idea to cut off the apron strings and replace them with the tie or ties. That left a necktie for my butt.
The meticulous dexterity needed to fasten buttons can be frustrating and tedious, especially on clothing remotely formal. Cufflinks are often difficult for the able-bodied, but hands diminished by MS can find it impossible without assistance. These things may not be and often aren’t a hindrance for survival, but life can be much more than just surviving. You can still look good and thus feel good.
Optic neuritis often runs rampant in MS, and can lead to double vision and vertigo. The eyes may feel crossed, but in actuality appear normal. Perceived images enter the brain normally, but stay two separate images, creating double vision. This is vexing as well as potentially hazardous to MS patients, but double vision can present obstacles that are not often considered, but no less existent.
If you cannot clearly see your reflection, you cannot make corrections and refinements to polish your appearance. It’s easy to abandon aesthetics and focus on balance, cognition, medicine, diet, and myriad other aspects of living, but if you cannot see yourself, your sense of self can feel diminished. You may start looking haggared and unkempt, and feel bad because of it.
You can ACCEPT your appearance. You may not have the faculties needed, and that is through no fault of your own. You may look different than you always have, but everyone changes. Everyone looks different than what they did, and most look different than what they wish. Now it’s up to you to ACCEPT who you are and how you look.
You can ADAPT, you can change your routines and style into something that works with your new skillset. Maybe tying a tie is currently too difficult or meticulous. You could switch to something collarless, like a turtleneck sweater. That solution presents another setback because heat can be debilitating to MS patients, and another adaptation is needed. Learning to navigate these types of terrains and ADAPTING is exactly what MS patients are required to do.
You know what’s next. It’s written in BOLD type over and over. To keep it simple, it even starts with the same letter. The next step is ADVANCE. To simplify the concept above the instruction, just OWN IT. Be deliberate in your decision-making and always have a reason for doing what you do. Maybe you wear collarless shirts now. You have ACCEPTED that buttons and neckties and cufflinks consume too much of your day-to-day life and you have ADAPTED to remain stylish and confident without constant frustration. You have found a suitable alternative (that pun was intentional, as most are) and you are ADVANCING.
Own it.
Be genuine, but own it. It was your decision, and it may have been spawned by necessity, but the result was your decision. Take pride in that and follow the path you’ve created and chosen. Don’t be fake. It doesn’t help you to take steps that aren’t you or don’t represent you. This site is about embracing the changes you didn’t choose, but embracing them nonetheless.
You didn’t decide to have MS, but you are deciding to live with it. Some don’t, and you most likely understand that, but you are ACCEPTING, ADAPTING, and ADVANCING. With reflection, you can recognize what leads to exhaustion or danger or even worse. You may not think you have power, but you have the power to change your actions and eventually the thoughts that drive them. You can avoid circumstances that don’t serve you and treat you unkindly. Once you have made changes, allow yourself to own the new you.